You know that feeling you get when you just can't think of anything to write for your blog post?
(after:2s)[Well, [[me too.]]](set: $blogTypes to (a:"Rogue-likes","Dating sims","Time Loop games","Metagames","Video Essays","Standstill","The Witness","Proceduralism","Narrators","Rogue-lites","iPad Babies","Groundhog Day","Play-centrism"))(set: $index to 1)(live:0.4s) [(set: $index to (it % $blogTypes.length) + 1) [[(print: $blogTypes's $index)|False Choice]]](print: $blogTypes's $index)?
(if:$index is 1)[Hmmm... Didn't we do that at like the beginning of the quarter?](if:$index is 2)[Yeah well, my dating life is enough of a disaster as it is already. I don't want to have to think about anything near that any more than I have to. I'll try [[something else]].](if:$index is 3)[Well, I guess let's get [[started|Start]]](if:$index is 4)[OK, but between this Twine panel and Ryan's false discourse last week, good luck finding something even more meta. Let's write about [[something else]].](if:$index is 5)[I turned that in two weeks ago... (after:2s)[didn't I????] (after:5s) [hold on....] (after:8s) [OK so maybe there's some bad news. Before I flunk the class, let's move on to [[something else]].]](if:$index is 6)[No, that's for the group project, not the blog posts. I'll have to write about [[something else]].](if:$index is 7)[|text>[Don't get me started on //The Witness//. (after:2s)[Seriously. I won't stop talking about that amazing game made by Jonathan Blow, released in 2016.] (after:4s) [You see, it's all just game about perspective. And sometimes that means like the perspective you use to look at a puzzle. Or sometimes it's the literal perspective you have looking at a place in the game world to see an environmental puzzle. Or sometimes it's the //literal// perspectives you hear from those little audio tapes or on the windmill movies. But the thing is, and this is what I think I really like about the game and why I keep thinking about the game like 2 years after I stopped playing it, the thing is that some of the perspectives are just absolute bullshit. Like you hear them and you're just like... nobody actually belives this crap. Or like you're stuck on a puzzle so you just look it up and you think "I'd never in 1000 years come up with this solution and it's absurd that Jonathan Blow thought I ever could. That's how I actually interpret the ending of the game, because I really think that whole](live: 5s)[(replace: ?text)[](stop:)]] (after:7s)[Sorry about that. Let's move on to [[something else]].]](if:$index is 8)[Ashtrick must have explained whatever the heck that is like a month and a half ago, I certainly don't remember. Let's talk about [[something else]].](if:$index is 9)[I'm supposed to talk about myself now? Metagames were last week, not this week. I'll have to talk about [[something else]].](if:$index is 10)[Wait a sec... is this a rogue-lite? There's [[perma-death|Start]] and [[random generation|randomizer]]. (after:4s)[But on the other hand, this everything-is-a-rogue-lite gimmick is maybe starting to get old. I'll write about [[something else]].]](if:$index is 11)[Hi Bruno! How's it going? Are you enjoying my blog post yet? If you aren't, don't worry. I'm gonna start talking about [[something else]] now.](if:$index is 12)[What a great movie! My favorite part is that moment at [[the beginning...|Start]]](if:$index is 13)[Ashtrick must have explained whatever the heck that is like a month and a half ago, I certainly don't remember. Let's talk about [[something else]].]It's just so hard to come up with an interesting idea for a blog post. (after: 3s) [After all, I feel so intimidated by what the professors bring up in class] (after: 5s) [(I only get like a third of the references Jagoda makes),](after:7s) [ and then I come here and everyone just has so many amazing and insightful things to talk about!]
(after:10s) [Sometimes, I wish I just could [[roll a die and make a blog post about...|randomizer]]]Well, I guess I really liked //Cookie Clicker// and //Universal Paperclips// this week. Maybe I'll try to come up with something about [[idle games]].(if:visits is 1)[(set:$words to 0) (set:$wps to 0) (set:$editors to 0)(set:$editorsCost to 10)(set: $editorValue to 1)(set:$click to 1)(set:$clickCost to 100)(set:$editUpCost to 1000)(set:$monkeyUnlock to 0)(set:$monkeyCost to 1000)(set:$monkeys to 0)(set:$monkeyValue to 65)(set:$monkeyUpCost to 20000)(set:$randoms to 0)(set:$randomCost to 10000)(set:$randomValue to 200)]Well, here we are! Let's (link-repeat: "start writing")[(set: $words to it + $click)].
You've already written (live:0.1s)[(print:(floor:$words))] words.
You're currently writing (live:0.1s)[(print: $wps)] words per second.
(live:1s)[(if: $wps >= 5)[(if:$words >= $clickCost)[(link-repeat: "Upgrade your keyboard (x8 writing power):")[(if: $words >= $clickCost)[(set: $words to it - $clickCost)(set:$click to it * 8)(set:$clickCost to it * 10)]] (print:$clickCost) words](if:$words < $clickCost)[Upgrade your keyboard (x8 writing power): $clickCost words]]]
(live:1s)[(if:$words >= $editorsCost)[(link-repeat: "Hire an editor (+$editorValue wps):")[(if:$words >= $editorsCost)[(set: $words to it - $editorsCost)(set:$editors to it + 1)(set:$editorsCost to it * 2)]] (print:$editorsCost) words](if:$words < $editorsCost)[Hire an editor (+$editorValue wps): $editorsCost words]]
(live:1s)[(if: $editors >= 8)[(if:$words >= $editUpCost)[(link-repeat: "Train your editors (+5 editor efficiency):")[(if: $words >= $editUpCost)[(set: $words to it - $editUpCost)(set:$editorValue to it + 5)(set:$editUpCost to it * 1.6)]] (print:$editUpCost) words](if:$words < $editUpCost)[Train your editors (+5 editor efficiency): $editUpCost words]]]
(live:1s)[(if: $monkeyUnlock >= 1)[(if:$words >= $monkeyCost)[(link-repeat: "Hire a monkey to randomly type words (+$monkeyValue wps):")[(if: $words >= $monkeyCost)[(set: $words to it - $monkeyCost)(set:$monkeys to it + 1)(set:$monkeyCost to it * 1.5)]] (print:(ceil:$monkeyCost)) words](if:$words < $monkeyCost)[Hire a monkey to randomly type words (+$monkeyValue wps): (print:(ceil:$monkeyCost)) words]]]
(live:1s)[(if: $monkeys >= 10)[(if:$words >= $monkeyUpCost)[(link-repeat: "Give your monkeys another typewriter (+65 monkey efficiency):")[(if: $words >= $monkeyUpCost)[(set: $words to it - $monkeyUpCost)(set:$monkeyValue to it + 65)(set:$monkeyUpCost to it * 1.8)]] (print:(ceil:$monkeyUpCost)) words](if:$words < $monkeyUpCost)[Give your monkeys another typewriter (+65 monkey efficiency): (print:(ceil:$monkeyUpCost)) words]]]
(live:1s)[(if: $wps >= 500)[(if:$words >= $randomCost)[(link-repeat: "Tap into your computers random number generator (+$randomValue wps):")[(if: $words >= $randomCost)[(set: $words to it - $randomCost)(set:$randoms to it + 1)(set:$randomCost to it * 1.2)]] (print:(ceil:$randomCost)) words](if:$words < $randomCost)[Tap into your computers random number generator (+$randomValue wps): (print:(ceil:$randomCost)) words]]]
(live:0.1s)[(set: $wps to ($editors * $editorValue))(set: $wps to it + ($monkeys * $monkeyValue))(set: $wps to it + ($randoms * $randomValue))(set:$words to it + ($wps / 10))
(if:$editors > 0)[You have (print: $editors) editors.]
(if:$monkeys > 0)[You have (print: $monkeys) monkeys.]
(if:$randoms > 0)[You have (print: $randoms) RNG.]
(if:$words >= 5000)[(set:$monkeyUnlock to 1)]]
(live:2s)[(if:$words >= 1000000)[(link-repeat:"Submit your blog post:")[(set:$words to 0)(goto:"Submit")] (//All// your words)]]
Here it is! Your fully completed (and fully outsourced) blog post!
(after:4s)[
(Page 1 of 914)
Was justice improve age article between. No projection as up preference reasonably delightful celebrated. Preserved and abilities assurance tolerably breakfast use saw. And painted letters forming far village elderly compact. Her rest west each spot his and you knew. Estate gay wooded depart six far her. Of we be have it lose gate bred. Do separate removing or expenses in. Had covered but evident chapter matters anxious.
An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law.
Ladyship it daughter securing procured or am moreover mr. Put sir she exercise vicinity cheerful wondered. Continual say suspicion provision you neglected sir curiosity unwilling. Simplicity end themselves increasing led day sympathize yet. General windows effects not are drawing man garrets. Common indeed garden you his ladies out yet. Preference imprudence contrasted to remarkably in on. Taken now you him trees tears any. Her object giving end sister except oppose.
Advantage old had otherwise sincerity dependent additions. It in adapted natural hastily is justice. Six draw you him full not mean evil. Prepare garrets it expense windows shewing do an. She projection advantages resolution son indulgence. Part sure on no long life am at ever. In songs above he as drawn to. Gay was outlived peculiar rendered led six.
Inhabiting discretion the her dispatched decisively boisterous joy. So form were wish open is able of mile of. Waiting express if prevent it we an musical. Especially reasonable travelling she son. Resources resembled forfeited no to zealously. Has procured daughter how friendly followed repeated who surprise. Great asked oh under on voice downs. Law together prospect kindness securing six. Learning why get hastened smallest cheerful.
Consider now provided laughter boy landlord dashwood. Often voice and the spoke. No shewing fertile village equally prepare up females as an. That do an case an what plan hour of paid. Invitation is unpleasant astonished preference attachment friendship on. Did sentiments increasing particular nay. Mr he recurred received prospect in. Wishing cheered parlors adapted am at amongst matters.
Behind sooner dining so window excuse he summer. Breakfast met certainty and fulfilled propriety led. Waited get either are wooded little her. Contrasted unreserved as mr particular collecting it everything as indulgence. Seems ask meant merry could put. Age old begin had boy noisy table front whole given.
Guest it he tears aware as. Make my no cold of need. He been past in by my hard. Warmly thrown oh he common future. Otherwise concealed favourite frankness on be at dashwoods defective at. Sympathize interested simplicity at do projecting increasing terminated. As edward settle limits at in.
Wise busy past both park when an ye no. Nay likely her length sooner thrown sex lively income. The expense windows adapted sir. Wrong widen drawn ample eat off doors money. Offending belonging promotion provision an be oh consulted ourselves it. Blessing welcomed ladyship she met humoured sir breeding her. Six curiosity day assurance bed necessary.
Kept in sent gave feel will oh it we. Has pleasure procured men laughing shutters nay. Old insipidity motionless continuing law shy partiality. Depending acuteness dependent eat use dejection. Unpleasing astonished discovered not nor shy. Morning hearted now met yet beloved evening. Has and upon his last here must.
Luckily friends do ashamed to do suppose. Tried meant mr smile so. Exquisite behaviour as to middleton perfectly. Chicken no wishing waiting am. Say concerns dwelling graceful six humoured. Whether mr up savings talking an. Active mutual nor father mother exeter change six did all.
In no impression assistance contrasted. Manners she wishing justice hastily new anxious. At discovery discourse departure objection we. Few extensive add delighted tolerably sincerity her. Law ought him least enjoy decay one quick court. Expect warmly its tended garden him esteem had remove off. Effects dearest staying now sixteen nor improve.
Abilities or he perfectly pretended so strangers be exquisite. Oh to another chamber pleased imagine do in. Went me rank at last loud shot an draw. Excellent so to no sincerity smallness. Removal request delight if on he we. Unaffected in we by apartments astonished to decisively themselves. Offended ten old consider speaking.
Was justice improve age article between. No projection as up preference reasonably delightful celebrated. Preserved and abilities assurance tolerably breakfast use saw. And painted letters forming far village elderly compact. Her rest west each spot his and you knew. Estate gay wooded depart six far her. Of we be have it lose gate bred. Do separate removing or expenses in. Had covered but evident chapter matters anxious.
Impossible considered invitation him men instrument saw celebrated unpleasant. Put rest and must set kind next many near nay. He exquisite continued explained middleton am. Voice hours young woody has she think equal. Estate moment he at on wonder at season little. Six garden result summer set family esteem nay estate. End admiration mrs unreserved discovered comparison especially invitation.
Moments its musical age explain. But extremity sex now education concluded earnestly her continual. Oh furniture acuteness suspected continual ye something frankness. Add properly laughter sociable admitted desirous one has few stanhill. Opinion regular in perhaps another enjoyed no engaged he at. It conveying he continual ye suspected as necessary. Separate met packages shy for kindness.
Denote simple fat denied add worthy little use. As some he so high down am week. Conduct esteems by cottage to pasture we winding. On assistance he cultivated considered frequently. Person how having tended direct own day man. Saw sufficient indulgence one own you inquietude sympathize.
Greatly hearted has who believe. Drift allow green son walls years for blush. Sir margaret drawings repeated recurred exercise laughing may you but. Do repeated whatever to welcomed absolute no. Fat surprise although outlived and informed shy dissuade property. Musical by me through he drawing savings an. No we stand avoid decay heard mr. Common so wicket appear to sudden worthy on. Shade of offer ye whole stood hoped.
Turned it up should no valley cousin he. Speaking numerous ask did horrible packages set. Ashamed herself has distant can studied mrs. Led therefore its middleton perpetual fulfilled provision frankness. Small he drawn after among every three no. All having but you edward genius though remark one.
Is branched in my up strictly remember. Songs but chief has ham widow downs. Genius or so up vanity cannot. Large do tried going about water defer by. Silent son man she wished mother. Distrusts allowance do knowledge eagerness assurance additions to.]
(after:10s) [(goto:"Regret")]
Ok so maybe having monkeys and random number generators write your blog post wasn't such a great idea. Hopefully these were graded for completion, not content anways.
(after:5s)[Thanks for playing!
If you want, you're welcome to [[play again|Start]]
Or, there's still plenty of time for you to <a href="https://criticalvideogamestudies.com/wp-admin/post-new.php">write your own blog post</a> before the end of the week!]